Love and Personality Disorders
Overview:
Personality disorders are often poorly understood, especially regarding healthy relationships. We at YesLove! want to provide helpful and inclusive information to help individuals who may have received one of these diagnoses or those who love them.
‘Personality disorder’ is the clinical umbrella term the American Psychological Association (APA) uses to define and diagnose groups of symptoms. These groups are broken down further into three clusters, which we will delve into in this article.
However, this article is not to diagnose yourself or your partner. That should be left to a medical professional. We aim to bring awareness to this subject, so you can make informed decisions about how to look after yourself or a loved one who may be struggling. We also offer support if you choose to seek help.
Some researchers and patient advocacy groups disagree with labelling individuals altogether, so from here on out we will use the term ‘personality difficulties.’
Firstly, it may be beneficial to define what a personality is. We all have one, but it can be challenging to describe. The APA defines personality as our unique configuration of behaviours and characteristics, built from our life experiences(1).
The development of our personalities can be influenced by various factors, including our genetics, the way we are raised, how we interact with the wider world, our inner beliefs, and patterns of behaviours(2).
During childhood, our personalities are malleable and affected by our surroundings. Traumatic childhood experiences can lead to the development of maladaptive coping strategies and increase the likelihood of developing personality difficulties. As we grow into adolescence and adulthood, our personalities solidify and tend to remain fairly consistent. That doesn’t mean they can’t be changed; it just means it can be more challenging.
To diagnose someone with a personality disorder, that individual must present continuous patterns of behaviour which cause significant distress to that person and deviate drastically from cultural norms(3).
We all have a collection of traits that create our unique personality. They make us who we are, and it’s important to know that having a specific trait doesn’t mean you have personality difficulties.
There are different trait theories, but one of the most common is the five-factor model, which organises personality into five key aspects(4). If you have tried one of the online tests, you will have received a score on the following five dimensions: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism.
These dimensions are scored on the high-low spectrum. For example, someone high in extraversion would be more outgoing and excitement-seeking, whereas someone low in extraversion would be more reserved and observant.
Traits fluctuate depending on the social setting, the individual’s mood, and other factors. A good example would be the difference in someone’s behaviour when they’re around family vs giving a presentation.
When traits become rigid or disconnected from societal norms to the point of causing distress and disruption, that’s when someone may run into personality difficulties.
Only a mental health professional can diagnose a personality disorder, which is why we refer to them as personality difficulties. But for educational purposes, these are the criteria a diagnosing clinician would use(5).
The individual will need to be evaluated to assess their thoughts and behaviours and how they affect their life. Diagnoses are only given to adults (over the age of 18) because up until that age, personality is still developing.
The individual must be significantly struggling in at least two of the following areas:
- How they think about others and themselves.
- How they respond to emotions.
- How they manage their behaviour.
- How they relate to others.
There are ten different personality disorders, which are split into three categories or clusters, and share commonalities in how their symptoms affect their lives(6).
Cluster A:
Described as odd or eccentric and have difficulties relating to others.
- Paranoid Personality Disorder
- Schizoid Personality Disorder
- Schizotypal Personality Disorder
Cluster B:
Described as dramatic or erratic and have difficulties controlling their emotions.
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- Antisocial Personality Disorder
- Borderline Personality Disorder
- Histrionic Personality Disorder
Cluster C:
Described as anxious or fearful and have difficulties managing those feelings.
- Avoidant Personality Disorder
- Dependant Personality Disorder
- Obsessive-compulsive Personality Disorder
The rest of this article will try to bring awareness to the patterns of behaviours linked to these difficulties. If you notice any of these behaviours or thoughts in yourself or your partner, you can get in touch with our qualified mental health experts here and you can get help as an individual or a couple.
